Let's spend a little time talking about a man of greatness. A man of humor. A man of art. A man noble enough to know winning isn't everything and when to call a truce for the betterment of all. His name? James Gannon. This is his story.
The first submission to my web site's Official Listing of James Gannons was e-mailed to me on behalf of his friend Daniel Ryan. He describes James as "idiosyncratic, funny, and can be and a prince of a guy." He's an artist from New York. Dan tells me James is a renaissance man. An artist, thank God. Clearly a credit to J.G.s everywhere. On behalf of James Gannons worldwide, whether they be in America or Ireland... welcome.
This blog entry is pretty much over. Don't bother reading the rest. Trust me, I know what's coming. (The author of this blog would like to warn you that he is about to ramble about a topic of interest to nobody.)
A little known fact (because I haven't told anyone) is that I only started the listing because an unknown entity owned the web domain jamesgannon.com. From 1996 all the way to 2006 when I finally registered my own site at james-gannon.com, it was owned by a mysterious someone who did absolutely nothing with his domain during that time. Today, it's owned by a real estate agent. Maybe some day, Mr. Jim Gannon of Schiller Real Estate may join my prestigious list. Or I may exclude him out of spite. No... I don't want to seem racist against my own people. The James Gannon race. But wait, he clearly identifies himself as "Jim" Gannon, so I can leave him out. But "Jim" is a variation of "James", isn't it?
The original directory of people whom I shared my name with was tucked away on the bottom of my bio page. I also decided to just call it the "Listing" instead of "Rankings", because I don't want a war to erupt amongst us. So I'll just list them as I find them. But I'm also putting myself on the top of the list. Why?
Scroll down lower and I'll tell you.
Because it's my site, damn it. What started merely as a gag could have some good potential. James Gannons are not just members of society. We ARE society.
And that's just the way it is.
This web blog is where I will drop news about my career, personal musings, and reviews of various topics within the mediums of books, games, movies, and websites.
The Author
September 6, 2007
September 4, 2007
Penny Arcade is Weird/Bischoff Creates Cash
With a fifty dollar gift card for Barnes & Noble I received for my birthday, I headed down to the bookstore to cash in my prize. Which store? Is your reading comprehension really that bad?
Read in a couple of days was Penny Arcade Volume 4: Birds Are Weird. The latest compilation of strips for obscenely popular web comic Penny Arcade archives their works from the year 2003 A.D. Much like their previous graphic novel titles, such as Attack of the Bacon Robots, there is no commentary about the oddities of our avian adversaries, just cover art where our heroes keep a cautious eye on a lone pigeon.
Highlights of this volume include: Cardboard Tube Samurai epics, the grand voyage of Fruit Fucker, Charles chicanery, N-Gage bashing, and Electronics Boutique's (now Gamestop) war veteran manager Frank adding Gabe's pants to what must be a grand collection. But perhaps most important, the Pac-Man watch changes wrists again! One of my favorite comics regards wholly defunct gaming company Acclaim's... "claim" to cease its support for Nintendo's Gamecube gaming system. "That was awful nice of them," chimes Gabe.
The second book I tackled was mammoth sized. So big that it took me FIVE DAYS to read. However, when I finished reading Controversy Creates Ca$h, by Jeremy Roberts, I only wished it was longer. CCC is the biography of ultra-successful business man Eric Bischoff, an individual heralded by those who know him and despised by those who don't.
The book chronicles Eric's life from its humble beginnings in Detroit, all the way to the end of his tenure as General Manager for World Wrestling Entertainment's RAW brand. Sandwiched in between were such jobs as owning his own landscaping company, an overachieving salesman, creating televsion shows, and even crafting a kid's game. Not to mention his stint with Verne Gagne's American Wrestling Association to his meteoric rise in World Championship Wrestling.
The majority of Controversy is the touching story of boy finds company, boy gets company, boy loses company. Much like his early years as President of WCW, Eric pulls no punches when it comes to describing his co-workers, both past and present. He calls it like he sees it and tells his side of the story on such matters like the firing of Steve Austin, why Nitro debuted head to head with RAW, and what went wrong when Hulk Hogan was "fired" at Bash at the Beach 2000. Chances are high that you're a wrestling fan if you purchase this book, and you won't be disappointed with the content. Unless you're expecting a lot of accounts of locker room mischief. Bischoff instead focuses on the corporate world of Turner (which was bought out by Time Warner, which is bought out by AOL), which turns out was far more hectic and political than a roster of wrestlers jockeying for position.
Like all biographies from controversial sports figures, you should be leery on whether or not all the accounts are presented factually. Maybe the book's subject padded some of the negative claims made about them. For years, the Internet Wrestling Community has been doing everything in their power to discredit the man they unaffectionately referred to as "Uncle Eric", and now for the first time, Bischoff is afforded the chance to clear his name.
The book has been criticized for shining a heavenly light on World Wrestling Entertainment's CEO Vince McMahon. Maybe if they read it past the prologue, they would have found that Eric not only gloats about his Nitro beating McMahon's RAW in the ratings for a year and a half, but also takes credit for the WWE's current winning formula. Maybe there's a chance that two successful business men have respect for each other?
Final warning: Reading this book will likely change your negative opinions on Mr. Bischoff. If my review was too pro-Bischoff for you, may I recommend you check out Ric Flair's To Be The Man. The Nature Boy sucker punches Eric while he's on the phone in that one.
Now I just need to decide what to spend the remaining $15.82 balance on my gift card on.
And that's just the way it is.
Read in a couple of days was Penny Arcade Volume 4: Birds Are Weird. The latest compilation of strips for obscenely popular web comic Penny Arcade archives their works from the year 2003 A.D. Much like their previous graphic novel titles, such as Attack of the Bacon Robots, there is no commentary about the oddities of our avian adversaries, just cover art where our heroes keep a cautious eye on a lone pigeon.
Highlights of this volume include: Cardboard Tube Samurai epics, the grand voyage of Fruit Fucker, Charles chicanery, N-Gage bashing, and Electronics Boutique's (now Gamestop) war veteran manager Frank adding Gabe's pants to what must be a grand collection. But perhaps most important, the Pac-Man watch changes wrists again! One of my favorite comics regards wholly defunct gaming company Acclaim's... "claim" to cease its support for Nintendo's Gamecube gaming system. "That was awful nice of them," chimes Gabe.
The second book I tackled was mammoth sized. So big that it took me FIVE DAYS to read. However, when I finished reading Controversy Creates Ca$h, by Jeremy Roberts, I only wished it was longer. CCC is the biography of ultra-successful business man Eric Bischoff, an individual heralded by those who know him and despised by those who don't.
The book chronicles Eric's life from its humble beginnings in Detroit, all the way to the end of his tenure as General Manager for World Wrestling Entertainment's RAW brand. Sandwiched in between were such jobs as owning his own landscaping company, an overachieving salesman, creating televsion shows, and even crafting a kid's game. Not to mention his stint with Verne Gagne's American Wrestling Association to his meteoric rise in World Championship Wrestling.
The majority of Controversy is the touching story of boy finds company, boy gets company, boy loses company. Much like his early years as President of WCW, Eric pulls no punches when it comes to describing his co-workers, both past and present. He calls it like he sees it and tells his side of the story on such matters like the firing of Steve Austin, why Nitro debuted head to head with RAW, and what went wrong when Hulk Hogan was "fired" at Bash at the Beach 2000. Chances are high that you're a wrestling fan if you purchase this book, and you won't be disappointed with the content. Unless you're expecting a lot of accounts of locker room mischief. Bischoff instead focuses on the corporate world of Turner (which was bought out by Time Warner, which is bought out by AOL), which turns out was far more hectic and political than a roster of wrestlers jockeying for position.
Like all biographies from controversial sports figures, you should be leery on whether or not all the accounts are presented factually. Maybe the book's subject padded some of the negative claims made about them. For years, the Internet Wrestling Community has been doing everything in their power to discredit the man they unaffectionately referred to as "Uncle Eric", and now for the first time, Bischoff is afforded the chance to clear his name.
The book has been criticized for shining a heavenly light on World Wrestling Entertainment's CEO Vince McMahon. Maybe if they read it past the prologue, they would have found that Eric not only gloats about his Nitro beating McMahon's RAW in the ratings for a year and a half, but also takes credit for the WWE's current winning formula. Maybe there's a chance that two successful business men have respect for each other?
Final warning: Reading this book will likely change your negative opinions on Mr. Bischoff. If my review was too pro-Bischoff for you, may I recommend you check out Ric Flair's To Be The Man. The Nature Boy sucker punches Eric while he's on the phone in that one.
Now I just need to decide what to spend the remaining $15.82 balance on my gift card on.
And that's just the way it is.
August 22, 2007
Metroid Classic
About a decade after its initial release, I finally conquered Samus Aran's debut adventure in the Metroid franchise.
Despite owning a Nintendo Entertainment System about a year or two after it surfaced on American shores, much like Godzilla does in Japan, I had very little Metroid experience. Sure, I've had a few rounds with it because a friend of mine had a copy, but I didn't get my own cart until the NES passed the torch to its super successor. It was a cheap purchase, but didn't get much of my attention in lieu of other games. The reason I never gave it the full play through it deserved is because... well, it was too difficult.
That wasn't the only chance I was offered to delve into the planet Zebes to splatter The Mother Brain. Nintendo gave players a chance to play Metroid if they hooked Gamecube's Metroid Prime up to Game Boy Advance's Metroid Fusion. Also, another GBA release called Metroid: Zero Mission, a remake of the original, rewarded you with the NES version upon completion of the game. But I never felt the desire to go old-school with Samus until only a few days ago.
My chosen vehicle for excavating Zebes was Zero Mission. Anyone who's familiar with the franchise knows that all games beginning with Super Metroid featured an in-game map, because every mission Samus accepts takes her through an underground labyrinth. But as I said, "beginning with Super Metroid". Metroid 1 didn't offer you such a luxury, the game was one of the earliest releases of the NES era that even required you to enter a 24 character password in order to continue your progress after turning the system off. So what would you have to do in order to find your way through the vast tunnels of Zebes? Grab a pencil and paper and map it out yourself! That's not a bad thing for the most part, mapping your progress was enjoyable. However, even that couldn't save you as you continued further into the game.
Arguably the worst aspect of Metroid was its repetitiveness. When you reach the areas known as Norfair and Hideout I, you begin to experience deja vu, as well as deja vu of the deja vu you already had. That's because the corridors within each section feature the exact same layout, from the positioning of the obstacles to the enemies featured within. So while you're making a map while traversing identical locations, you start wondering if you already charted that area before, rendering your personal guide useless. But this being the 21st century, there's always the Internet and its vast resources to help you out. I cheated a bit and headed to GameFAQs to look for a more trustworthy map just to find out where the hell I was going wrong in Kraid's Hideout. I noticed I missed quite a few valuable tools during my initial journey through Norfair because there was a small piece of floor I failed to bomb that would grant me access to the nether regions of that place. So I back-tracked, collected the missing upgrades, and then straightened myself out on the path to Brinstar's boss.
Another aspect that can be perceived as a flaw at first is the high difficulty level when you first start off on your Metroid murdering mission. You get a weak little beam that's fine for taking out the crawling Zoomers and dive-bombing Rios of Brinstar, but when you advance further and meet up with the thicker-skinned residents of Norfair, such as Gerutas and Multiviolas, it's best to freeze them and continue on because they're powerful enough to weaken you with only a few attacks. And if you die, you're resurrected with only a measly 30 health units, which will only let you survive two hits from more powerful enemies. Novice players will probably forget that missiles are good for offense as well as opening a few red doors, so they'll probably want to conserve them. But let me tell you that a lot of enemies drop missile refills upon defeat, so go ahead and blow those critters to smithereens. It'll make your trek much easier until you can equip yourself with the Hi Jump Boots, Varia Suit, Screw Attack, and Wave Beam. Then you'll be tearing through aliens... excuse me, extraterrestrials, in no time.
So if you can accurately chart your progress and survive the frustration of getting knocked around repeatedly by pipe bugs and hopping monsters, Metroid is a pretty fun game. But I highly recommend the upgraded version Zero Mission because it solves the problem of repeating corridors by cutting down on them and offering more variety, and low and behold, comes with an automatic map feature that keeps track of where you've been and where you're going if you download data from key rooms within each region of Zebes. It also adds a few new weapons, another part of the planet to explore, a more advanced plot, and a surprise after you complete the original game's objective.
Now I just need to buy a Wii and download Kid Icarus. That's another classic I had very little playtime with that I would like to tackle. Fun note: Metroid and Kid Icarus were created with the same game engine, as evidenced by the password feature.
And that's just the way it is.
Bonus: Here's the map I created to help me through the game. No wonder I got lost.
Despite owning a Nintendo Entertainment System about a year or two after it surfaced on American shores, much like Godzilla does in Japan, I had very little Metroid experience. Sure, I've had a few rounds with it because a friend of mine had a copy, but I didn't get my own cart until the NES passed the torch to its super successor. It was a cheap purchase, but didn't get much of my attention in lieu of other games. The reason I never gave it the full play through it deserved is because... well, it was too difficult.
That wasn't the only chance I was offered to delve into the planet Zebes to splatter The Mother Brain. Nintendo gave players a chance to play Metroid if they hooked Gamecube's Metroid Prime up to Game Boy Advance's Metroid Fusion. Also, another GBA release called Metroid: Zero Mission, a remake of the original, rewarded you with the NES version upon completion of the game. But I never felt the desire to go old-school with Samus until only a few days ago.
My chosen vehicle for excavating Zebes was Zero Mission. Anyone who's familiar with the franchise knows that all games beginning with Super Metroid featured an in-game map, because every mission Samus accepts takes her through an underground labyrinth. But as I said, "beginning with Super Metroid". Metroid 1 didn't offer you such a luxury, the game was one of the earliest releases of the NES era that even required you to enter a 24 character password in order to continue your progress after turning the system off. So what would you have to do in order to find your way through the vast tunnels of Zebes? Grab a pencil and paper and map it out yourself! That's not a bad thing for the most part, mapping your progress was enjoyable. However, even that couldn't save you as you continued further into the game.
Arguably the worst aspect of Metroid was its repetitiveness. When you reach the areas known as Norfair and Hideout I, you begin to experience deja vu, as well as deja vu of the deja vu you already had. That's because the corridors within each section feature the exact same layout, from the positioning of the obstacles to the enemies featured within. So while you're making a map while traversing identical locations, you start wondering if you already charted that area before, rendering your personal guide useless. But this being the 21st century, there's always the Internet and its vast resources to help you out. I cheated a bit and headed to GameFAQs to look for a more trustworthy map just to find out where the hell I was going wrong in Kraid's Hideout. I noticed I missed quite a few valuable tools during my initial journey through Norfair because there was a small piece of floor I failed to bomb that would grant me access to the nether regions of that place. So I back-tracked, collected the missing upgrades, and then straightened myself out on the path to Brinstar's boss.
Another aspect that can be perceived as a flaw at first is the high difficulty level when you first start off on your Metroid murdering mission. You get a weak little beam that's fine for taking out the crawling Zoomers and dive-bombing Rios of Brinstar, but when you advance further and meet up with the thicker-skinned residents of Norfair, such as Gerutas and Multiviolas, it's best to freeze them and continue on because they're powerful enough to weaken you with only a few attacks. And if you die, you're resurrected with only a measly 30 health units, which will only let you survive two hits from more powerful enemies. Novice players will probably forget that missiles are good for offense as well as opening a few red doors, so they'll probably want to conserve them. But let me tell you that a lot of enemies drop missile refills upon defeat, so go ahead and blow those critters to smithereens. It'll make your trek much easier until you can equip yourself with the Hi Jump Boots, Varia Suit, Screw Attack, and Wave Beam. Then you'll be tearing through aliens... excuse me, extraterrestrials, in no time.
So if you can accurately chart your progress and survive the frustration of getting knocked around repeatedly by pipe bugs and hopping monsters, Metroid is a pretty fun game. But I highly recommend the upgraded version Zero Mission because it solves the problem of repeating corridors by cutting down on them and offering more variety, and low and behold, comes with an automatic map feature that keeps track of where you've been and where you're going if you download data from key rooms within each region of Zebes. It also adds a few new weapons, another part of the planet to explore, a more advanced plot, and a surprise after you complete the original game's objective.
Now I just need to buy a Wii and download Kid Icarus. That's another classic I had very little playtime with that I would like to tackle. Fun note: Metroid and Kid Icarus were created with the same game engine, as evidenced by the password feature.
And that's just the way it is.
Bonus: Here's the map I created to help me through the game. No wonder I got lost.

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